That is actually how I used to start journal entries when I was younger all the time whenever I hadn’t written in a while – its been a while! So many whiles. So, anyways, yes, it really has been a minute.
If I thought 2016 was full of changes and growth, woof, well… the first half of 2017 has already given last year a huge run for its money, because my life has changed so much – in such good ways – and I couldn’t be more grateful for the life I’m now living.
To preface: I’ve been terrible with keeping up with blogging over the last several months.
There was a project I was positive I was going to be working on over the summer, not sure if I’m allowed to actually talk about it due to contractual obligations – but it really lit a fire in me to do and see as much as possible before taking on this project, which would have cut me off from the world and my loved ones for several weeks. Long story short, I ended up being thisclose to getting it but then losing it, which turned out to be a huge relief for me – I was having so much anxiety and definitely lost a lot of sleep over the prospect of being cut off from my friends and family for so long!
But because I was so sure I would be doing it, I spent a lot of time in those first few months traveling as much as possible, both to see my dear ones and to check some places off my list – and putting ‘seriously’ blogging on the back burner in the meantime. I went to Colorado, Cuba, Ireland, and South of France (post coming soon), and spent time in Florida, Maryland, Virginia, and Nevada visiting my family and closest friends. My whole life actually felt paused, as in I had no idea what the summer/second half of the year was going to look like for me, and so I wanted to squeeze in as much as I could while I still knew what the heck was going on in my life.
Everything basically came to a head in May. I found out I wasn’t getting the project, quit my night job, and knew it was time to get serious with what I was doing with my life.
I’ve known for years now that my passions lie in writing and photography (blogging and creating content). But it was incredibly difficult to fully devote myself to it (ie take it seriously) between the amount of travel I was doing and working a night shift schedule while in NY, when I was completely drained and exhausted both physically and mentally all the time. Working a night job did give me a great amount of freedom for travel, which was truly amazing, but it was just no longer sustainable in my day to day life – and I knew it was time to settle back into New York instead of running out of the country every chance I got. Quitting that job was the first step, and the next was to cleanse my palette, if you will, because I knew I was making a huge life change.
I decided to book myself for yoga school in Mexico for the first 10 days of June, following up on my first yoga teacher training in Costa Rica. While there, I fucking went through it. I cried a LOT, was terrified of what life would be like upon returning to New York, and even did a Tezmacal ceremony (for the second time, first time was in Tulum a couple years ago) to help make the spiritual transition into the next part of my life. I also learned so much, grew much stronger both physically and emotionally, and made some incredible friends and memories like dancing on the beach on our last Mexican night. Mexico and yoga schoool part 2 definitely deserve a whole post of their own, so I’ll leave it at that for now.
Even though I have income from being an airbnb host (also a huge factor in why I was able to travel so much over the last year and a half), it isn’t enough to live off of solely, so it was time to buckle down and get a big girl job. I feel incredibly lucky for the process to have gone as smoothly as it did – just two days after returning from Mexico, I had an interview with an amazing company and a great offer for a position almost immediately. I had been worried about starting a “real” job, because I was so accustomed to so much freedom, and the thought of a 9-5 was miserable to me. My friends and I laugh now about how much I insisted I would never do that, even in the weeks before I got the job.
But yet here I am, typing this from my desk right now, with a gorgeous view of Central Park out the big beautiful window to my right. I’m working 2-8pm, literally the most ideal hours for me, because I love going to sleep early (around 10-11 nowadays, instead of 5am like it was for a while), and waking up early (6-7am). This schedule allows me to eat dinner at work, come home, relax for an hour or two and pass tf out – then waking up early to meditate, workout, and work on my blogging for a few hours before heading into the office. I couldn’t have imagined a better set up for myself if I tried.
“This position is great for a writer, because you will have a lot of down time,” they said to me during my interview before I had even revealed that I was a writer. Its crazy how the universe truly does conspire to help you achieve your greatest desires – loose quote from Paulo Coelho, who’s brilliant book The Alchemist I re-read while I was in Mexico (also the source of some of my tears, haha).
I don’t think I would be where I’m at today if it wasn’t for my insane faith in the universe, God, the cosmos, whatever you want to call it. I’ve learned so many massive lessons on intuition, faith, trust, and patience in these first six months of the year, they warrant their own blog post. But I’ll leave this post today with this – anything can come together, seemingly like magic, if you keep faith that it will. I’ve been seeing it time and again in my life this year and its been incredible to watch my life change.
This is NOT to say it works out the way you expect or want every time – but something that seems like a setback could actually be exactly what you need, and you just don’t know it yet. The journey is unpredictable, and that’s what makes it beautiful. Keeping an open heart and mind is my personal key.
These days I’m so content, calm, and at peace, and so happy to have the mental space to pursue my passions in writing and creating. I feel so alive, so full, and I know I want to make this a space to help others learn and grow and also achieve their hearts’ most intimate desires. I’m so glad for the opportunity to catch you all up on whats been going on in my world.
And the best part is that this is just the beginning.